Caregiving and Assisted Living Need Convincing

Convincing Your Parent they need Caregiving

I am often asked to help a stubborn parent “come around” and admit they may need caregiving in the home. It is hard to convince a parent to get caregiving or go on a tour at an Assisted Living Community. Your parent is gritty (or stubborn), which has served them well. They are, after all, from the greatest generation.

Can we convince anyone of anything? I typically start by asking open-ended questions to the person who needs care. Just understand this is a process that can take some time. Your job is to listen to their answers and accept them.

Here are my first three questions:

1. What keeps you up at night? What is your biggest fear? (Falling, loneliness, and money are the three most common answers).
2. If it’s two people, what happens if something happens to the caregiver? (When a healthy family caregiver (spouse) gets injured and can no longer provide care, it creates an emergency for the other person.)
3. Do you know what caregivers’ costs are versus assisted living? (Financial costs, types of communities, different strategies)

Many of us feel we are 10-15 years younger in our heads. A recent client of mine said, “well, I guess my brain is writing checks my body can’t cash.” Many people only get a caregiver once they need one. The first step is getting the information to know the costs and options.