Leading your Parent’s Care

At some point, your parents will need your help figuring out care. As they get older, it becomes harder to manage to be on their own without help. They can suffer physically, emotionally, financially, and cognitively. So what is your role in your parents’ lives as they get older? It can vary based on your location, skill set, and relationship.
You have an opportunity to be a leader and a mediator, which typically results in a smoother aging process.

Here are five areas in which an adult child can help their aging parent.

1. Be a Trusted Communicator – As a son or daughter to an aging loved one, you can often be a person who can be practical and have a little more perspective on your parent’s ability to survive on their own in their current state. Before you convince them of change, you need to establish trust. You ask questions and observe their feelings about care and assisted living topics.

2. Understand your parent – Make sure you understand your parent’s wants and needs. Most everyone wants to age successfully in place, but what if that becomes cost-prohibitive or a significant burden on another family member. Talk to your parents and find out their priorities as they go through this tricky terrain.

3. Be the family mediator – Caregivers, assisted living, and selling the family home can be an emotional experience for the aging loved ones. Still, it can also be surprisingly emotional for you and your brothers and sisters. Learn to listen and help everyone work through this process, and try not to get too wrapped up in the details. A good mediator listens to everyone and considers everyone’s feelings, looking for a win/win or a good compromise.

4. Lead by looking at the Pros and Cons – A simple Pros and Cons list give you clarity and direction, but it can also be good therapy. Talking about financial realities, care scenarios, risks, and emotions is healthy and can assist in making a good decision.

5. Be a Change Agent – No matter the current situation, your parent will need you in one capacity or another. Many people are afraid of change, but most care decisions require change. Be open to supporting the change.

If you need additional help and perspective regarding decisions like this, I can help. I work with independent caregivers and over 60 local care communities. Give me a call, and we can put together a strategy that makes sense. Thanks, David. Even when selecting an assisted living community or care home, personality matches of the other residents and the staff is critical to a successful long-term relationship.

Selling a Home for Mom and Dad  

I help you a lot about what happens before someone is placed into Assisted Living or a care home, but I never speak about what comes next. The first thing on most people’s minds is what they need to do to sell a home. Selling a home is a big project, and chances are you need some help.

Some questions to ask:

  • Are you going to sell the home?
  • Will rent the house?
  • Need to use the home?
  • Home to have an estate sale?
  • Do you need to donate specific items?

I work with local real estate professionals that have expertise in selling a home for an elderly family member. Not all agents do an excellent job at this. Especially if you are trying to do all of this remotely, remember that emotions also play a huge role. They need someone who can relate to them. Let me know if this is the stage you are in and if you need some guidance. I am happy to help.

Give me a call at (805)748-2614

Seling a home you have lived in for many years is stressful on your body and mind. Not all seniors are physically able to pack things up, move items around and lug boxes down the steep stairs. As difficult as that sounds, it pales to the mental and emotional stress when transitioning to a new home. Most times, seniors downsize to a much smaller footprint, which typically means they can only bring a small number of things. Working with people who understand the emotional side of moving is very important to your parent’s well-being.

We have created a local network of real estate professionals who are the county’s top performers. Some realtors on the list have the special designation “Certified Senior Housing Professional,” They have received additional training and knowledge about late-in-life transitions.

My network includes

  1. Local/Neighborhood Realtors
  2. Guidance with additional services like moving, cleaning, and repairs
  3. People who have experience helping seniors
  4. What to do with the “stuff”!!!
  5. Knowledge of Senior Friendly Living Choices

Whether you are looking to stay in your home for as long as possible, rent your home and live somewhere else or sell your house, your home’s assets are typically the way people care for an extended amount of time.

Here are a few creative ways people use their real estate as a financial tool.

  • Sell their Home
  • Rent their home
  • Reverse Mortgage
  • Bridge Loan
  • Home Equity
  • Long term Care Insurance

When choosing an independent caregiver, you are ensured that you will have someone screened and experienced. Since you know your loved one better than anyone, you must make sure the caregiver and the client are a personality match. Selecting an assisted living community or care home personality to match the other residents and the staff is critical to a successful long-term relationship. 

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